21 Steps for Cosplaying to SOLDIER First Class
by Eriol-sama
Summary: Well, title says enough and it's in the same setting of the orgy-relationship story. Pairing: Established AngealxVincentxGenesisxZackxCloudxSephiroth. CRACK Ahead! Mind your Mind!


**Title:** 21 Steps for Cosplaying to The First-timer SOLDIERs!  
**Characters:** Cloud Strife, Zack Fair, Sephiroth, Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewley, Vincent Valentine  
**Warning:** AU, few OOC, CRACK! Be warned!  
**Pairings:** Established AngealxVincentxGenesisxZackxCloudxSephiroth (in the same setting of the Orgy Relationship setting)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 1,966 according to Word 2007 including the author's note  
**Disclaimer:** All characters depicted in sexual situations in this post/fanfiction/fanart (including material in the comments) are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent in the United States or any other countries, regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.  
**Author's Notes:** I know I'm side-tracking and procrastinating on that Orgy Relationship thingie but I'm still waiting for my beta-reader to finish checking up the second chapter. So as soon as she finishes it, I'll post it right away! So for now, happy reading!

***

1. The first time they do cosplay was because of Zack's insistent nagging combined with Genesis' relentless smooth-talking as well as a small fraction of Sephiroth's curiosity and even a part of Angeal's naivety yet too much sense of dread from Cloud topped with an indifferent face of Vincent's. That was what had them done it in the first time.

2. After hours of browsing not a very few themes, ranging from the very normal one to the alien-spaced-weirdoes, they decided to stake their fates on drawing the straws written on them all the themes they had been browsing. Then a straw was drawn and a very familiar theme won.

3. It almost seemed that the said winner theme was even doing its victory dance as well as laughing on their faces, one was excited, one just frowned, one was not amused and one was not even expressing anything but a quirk of smirk, one was blatantly smirking while the rest really wish to stay in the coffin.

4. Seeing that there was only one person who had strikewhite/strike silver hair amongst them. The role of white rabbit was easily and very quickly determined since no one protested.

5. Sephiroth was definitely not amused when he realized that being a white rabbit mean that one should put a pair of white fluffy rabbit ears onto one's head. But he had wisely chosen not to open his mouth to complain. Not when, the role discussion had come to the point where one should don a blue-white dress instead of a pair of beige slacks, white dress shirt topped with red-black checkered suit blazer and a red tie. After all, the pair of white fluffy rabbit ears seemed so much better than a big black ribbon bow on top of one's head.

6. When assigning roles, there was a certain rule of deciding upon the easiest one first. A role of which one could settle on based of the physical similarities to the said role. Thus, when they said that the main protagonist of that theme needed a blonde haired strikefemale/strike male, someone had just had the urge to shriek in a girlish manner.

7. Cloud's instinct had had sharpened to the point that he knew of danger even before the said danger came. Hence, ever since the first time the word strikecosplay/strike disguise was uttered, his alarms had all at once blared noisily inside his mind. Then when the straw was drawn, he knew his fate was sealed like he was sentenced to death, only death would be much much kinder than this kind of sentence. Yet, he was the proud WEAPON of Gaia, who had survived all those wars which were much much more gruesome than the light blue dress adorned with white apron decked with white frills and laces, a pair of white stocking, a nice black Mary-Jane shoes and a bow of big black ribbon, thus, he would survive this madness and that was when a very small piece of his brain strikesaid/strike demanded in a voice that he would be the one who picked up the blonde wig. Gaia would curse on him should he put such the previous ridiculous blonde wig again.

8. Then they had come to a point where the characters had no physical similarities anymore, thus, they decided to delve the characters characterizations to put a role upon one. However, this had resulted on one of the fiercest battle that one had ever seen, the strikecat fight/strike battle between the auburn haired General and the raven haired ex-Turk.

9. Vincent was very very far from being pleased. But he had swore he would not lose in this kind of battle. After all, he was nothing like the ugly, fat and atrocious Queen! Not that he was someone who sprouted poems here and there whilst cackled maniacally too. But like hell he would put on that red-black extravagant dress consisted of crimson lace corset decorated with black ribbons in cris-crossing pattern along with the ridiculous striketiara/strike crown! He would win no matter what! Even though a very very small part of his brain had already seen his loss.

10. Genesis knew the other man would fight him teeth and nails but he just smirked. Oh he was very confident that it would be his sweet victory in the end. While he was not against cross-dressing (really who could deny that he was not beautiful as in attractive?) He was fairly sure he would be far more than a decent Queen. In fact should he be the Queen, oh boy, he would be a goddamn the hottest Queen of Heart (included the pun) that would still every man's hearts! But! It was not that matter because for now a certain character was calling upon his artistic nature and being a creature of art, he, too, would fight more teeth and nails in order to satisfy his artist's desire!

***

11. Round 1 Genesis versus Vincent: Who Looks Good in Red?

"_Both of them wear red. That in it is enough to be said about." _**– Sephiroth**

(Score Queen: Genesis 1, Vincent 1)

(Score Hatter: Genesis 0, Vincent 0)

***

12. Round 2 Genesis versus Vincent: Hairstyle

"_Vincent's is longer so we can curl it! Awesome!" _**– Zack**

(Score Queen: Genesis 1, Vincent 2)

(Score Hatter: Genesis 1, Vincent 0)

***

13. Round 3 Genesis versus Vincent: Temperament

"_Genesis is artistically volatile." _**– Angeal**

(Score Queen: Genesis 2, Vincent 2)

(Score Hatter: Genesis 2, Vincent 0)

***

14. Round 4 Genesis versus Vincent: Poem Reciting

"_To hear him speaking in full sentences when it is one of those days, is practically a miracle already." _**– Cloud**

(Score Queen: Genesis 2, Vincent 2)

(Score Hatter: Genesis 3, Vincent 0)

***

15. Round 5 Genesis versus Vincent: Top Hat or Crown?

"_Top hat? Bwahahahaha!" _**– Chaos**

(Score Queen: Genesis 2, Vincent 3)

(Score Hatter: Genesis 4, Vincent 0)

***

16. Final Round Genesis versus Vincent: Temperament Revisited

"_He is more than often insane so he can cackle maniacally." _**_–_ Sephiroth**

"_Well, he is a flirt, so it is like a bonus, isn't it?"_ **– Cloud**

"_I am too cold. I will NOT be a Queen of Heart, instead it will be out of character and you, all people, will mess it up with the Red Queen!"_ – Vincent

"_Well, that is fine, after all, if those strikeDisney/strike people can mistake the Queen of Heart with the Red Queen, why cannot we make it like a Red Queen that is like the Queen of Heart?"_ **– Genesis**

"_Huh?"_ **– Zack**

"_So you are saying that it is fine that it comes out he is not the Queen of Heart but the Red Queen because some strikeDisney/strike people often mistake the Queen of Heart with the Red Queen but here we are going to have a Red Queen but in disguise of the Queen of Heart so that makes him a Queen of Heart with the Red Queen personality?"_ **– Angeal**

"_Come again?"_ – Zack

"_..." _**– Sephiroth, Cloud**

"…_.I'll be the queen."_ **– Vincent**

"_Excellent!"_ **– Genesis**

***

17. As more characters were down, now was the time to move on to decide who played whom in an increasingly difficult manner.

18. Everyone knew that Zack was a puppy, not a kitten or cat. So it would be downright strikeout of character/strike ironic for him to play the role of cat. He was, is, is going to be a puppy period. However, no one could argue with him that the other persons who were suitable for the cat role had, strikesadly/strike wonderfully enough, chosen to fill the spot of even more suitable roles, that were being the MOST important blonde haired strikefemale/strike male protagonist and the strikementally challenged/strike eccentric poem reciting artist role. Not to mention if the role was given to the other man besides him who still had not gotten the role, let's just say that the hell would freeze seeing the said man donned the pair of cat ears (don't even bother to mention the grinning part). Thus, being the lesser of two evils, Zack scored the role of the chesire-ly grinning strikepuppy/strike cat!

19. Then came the hardest part of choosing role, which surprisingly became rather short since the only man left submitted voluntarily.

20. Angeal could not say anything but let out a tired sigh seeing the whole madness brew just before his eyes. A madness that he had wished he would not partake, but after the years spent together with them, he knew it was inevitable. Hence, he carefully considered the options left for him and trying to make a logical reasons to oppose the would-be-suggested roles such as:

The caterpillar _**(No! It really would not do to have him tied all the time. Not to mention who would carry him all around?)**_

The duchess _**(Simply no and it was not negotiable, after all the sheer appearance of him in that medieval garb would be an insult and to appear being a female one? It would be down right hideous as well as violating the right of Eyes!)**_

The King of Heart _**(That was one of the most sane answer but alas, no one would allow him the easiest escape from this madness!)**_

The last one, the knight _**(A sensible one, seeing that there was a definitely jailbait lolita strikeprincess/strike and supposedly drop dead strikegorgeous/strike cold strikeRed/strike Queen of Heart who would attract perverts, stalkers and groupies; an overly too friendly but cute chesire-ly grinning strikepuppy/strike cat who would have more lechers; an eccentric but charming poem artist who would flirt right into many hearts, male or female; then the last one being the strikecute and fluffy white rabbit/strike super famous General of Shinra who would, no doubt, draw more crowds of stalkers, perverts and groupies. So the last thing that was needed was more attraction. Hence, being a knight who was eligible to carry a sword would be advantageous to fend off those strikeyaoi crazy fan girls/strike crowds, not to mention it would be sort of contribution to the strikeRed/strike Queen of Heart that the knight was upon strikeher/strike his whim. Also the helmet, it would ease the pain on the wearing the strikecute and fluffy/strike white rabbit ears. Thus, all in all, a sensible choice)**_

21. After appointing the roles, all that left was doing the costumes and wear them. However, during the first time they wore them, there was an unavoidable accident that had led them not outside the apartment but into the inside of their shared bedroom. It was started because a certain suddenly horny chesire strikepuppy/strike cat attacked on the blonde lolita strikeprincess/strike, mostly caused of the reaction upon seeing the said blonde in frilled and laced skirt along with the long white stocking and its garter. After that, it was like a domino effect; the strikesalacious/strike eccentric Mad Hatter to seduce on the cute strikesexy/strike equally fluffystrike randy/strike white rabbit, probably mistook him for his partner in crime the march hare and suddenly the knight was down upon his knees strikeperforming a fellatio/strike worshipping the strikeRed/strike Queen of Heart, his strikemistress/strike Queen. Hence, enough say, they did not move an inch out from the bed room.

***

-The End-

***

Author's note:

1. Blame my mind! The traitorous mind conjure up this whole thing as well as controlling my fingers to type this story! All I have done is seeing on a picture of Heart no Kuni no Alice!

2. Can you guess who becomes who? ;P

3. I hope I do not butcher the characters, even the implied one.

4. Well...about the Red Queen, I did some research on Wiki and that is what it said, I think. So any wrong information upon that characters is not intentional as I am blind of Alice story.


End file.
